Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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