so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Quick, to the slutcave!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
