"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
