was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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