I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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