Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
