we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
