my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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