I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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