The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
