I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
