Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
where are you?
Hypothermia
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
