Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
