summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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