You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
