Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
