Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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