so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
