He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
