Do you still have your period?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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