Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
