I accidentally burped into my bong.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
