P.S. I can't hear my feet
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
