Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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