U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
