And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
