I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
