I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
