Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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