i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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