I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize