seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
