Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
