I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Im part way to drunk.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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