They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
How does it feel to date your dad?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
