He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
