Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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