I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
