My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
