I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
