Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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