I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
