Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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