drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
