just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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