she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
