I want to make a zoo with you.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Can I color on your dick again?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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