We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
