I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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