Screwed.edu
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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