the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
When are your genitals available?
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